Different

Why me
That you have to choose
Even though they call me different
That they look at me from far
None cared to ask me
Could it be that I managed to smile all these years
Is it because you were there?
It still bothers me
These days, these times when I sit alone
They chose to shade their eyes from me
Since I met you I vowed
If I'm to be reborn
I want to be reborn different again
Then find where you are
No matter how many times
With these eyes that they call witch's pair
Why did you choose me?
My nights became lonely since I met you
You taught me what it means to despair
I didn't know what love was
My pains were temporary
I never cried at night for what they said
But I knew
I was and always will be different
One of them yet not
Trapped on this small planet
Ironic
How my difference took me across universe
To venture outside
I saw people more unique than me
It wasn't me who found you
God sent you in a surprise package
To this boring place which you say is better than yours
But life is always like that, isn't it?
Grass is always greener on the other side
You are on the far side
Shining in a way so gently
You are also different, but they love you
I can't understand why
Why is it I crossed that border of difference
We are too far away
Still I couldn't help taking you away from them
Your response
It made things worse
Perhaps if you didn't say you love me
Perhaps life would've been different from now
And I won't have to sleep alone
Or cry alone
If you didn't catch my extended hand
Would I be happier than now?
Aren't you regretting
Taking me in?
I won't regret what I did
When I chose to make you mine regardless of your feelings
But if you're not happy with me
I'm ready to let you go
Your happiness is what I wish
But with all my heart, I don't want to let you go
If you are gone
If someone else comes to take your place
I want to be reborn
This time into the person you'd really be happy with
Forgive me for being different
I'm sorry I'm not as nice as they are
Hikaru
Hotaru
Keikoku
Whichever you are
Life is full of wonder
Like when the traveler settled down with the healer
I've never doubted your love
Nor do I doubt your heart
I just wanted to hear your voice more often
Even at those times when I get persistent
What I really wanted was to listen to you
To have you nearby a little bit longer
To prolong your stay some more
I wanted to listen to those assuring words over and over
And smile at you when you're not looking
To understand what your life is like
I'll always believe in you
You showed me who God is
You told me that God loves me
What more could you do for me than that?
They still stare at us
Wherever I go
Is it okay for you to walk with the so-called silvered curse?
It would've been better if you just let go of my hand
Nah, it's better this way
They don't understand
I don't need them to understand
I didn't ask to be born different
But next time, if there is
I will

Invisible Writer

You're always knocking at my heart

Then draw tears when my eyes are still wide

You turn things upside down as you like

And you're still my one love

You tell me my dad loves me

About his inability to show it

You show me my mom needs me

All the way behind that curtain of temper

I ask myself why I should be kind to people

Yet I worry if you'd ever stop being kind to me

I think I have a heart of stone

But you keep it throbbing

Over?

Has my time come?

But I open my eyes

As another morning greets me

This journey is still far

There are still puzzles to unscramble

Whenever I stumble and fall

I get back up

Knowing it was you who supported

I hate it when I doubt myself

But then you will sing me a story

And tell me to believe

I do not know who I am

Because everything about me belongs to you

You, my God

星の遠くに

複雑です

心の安らぎを求めている

きっとどこかにあるのに

なぜ手に入らないの？

まるで忘れられた存在のように

淋しくて愛おしくて

いつか会えると信じ

あの人の笑顔がなんでこんなにいとおしくなったんだろう

いつも笑ってた

よく隣にいてくれた

たまにいないときは

私が不安になる

多重人格？どうでもいい

あなたはあなた、それでいい

失いたくない

抱きしめたい

帰ってよあなた

こんなに待たせないで

たったの5分でも

買い物の途中であなたが試着しに行ったとき

なんとなく5年間のように

なぜかその5分の間に

またあなたが消えてしまうような

わずかな時間

永遠のように感じる

離れたくなくてゴメン

私に愛されてること

どうか許して

***

The Healer's midnight melancholy

With love, for Palestine

一つの愛

空が赤く照らされた時

母は悲しげな顔を隠した

幼い弟を見つめながら

私たちはやむを得ず家を出た

たぶんこれは天罰だろう

果敢ない幸せを追い続けてた僕たちは

大事なことを忘れ踊っていた

昔から約束された天敵はいずれやって来て

あれから何十年も

じいさんたちが私たちに残した遺産は

むしろこの戦いしかない

友達、学校

そういうもの感じたかった

きっと楽しくて、きっと笑える

父の愛さえ分からない私は

命の意味を問うていた

世の中を問うてた

だけど母はいつも笑いながら

大丈夫だよって言ってくれた

わからないよ、あの時の私が

なんで僕たちばかりがこんな目に

なぜ父が死ななきゃいけないの？と

毎日、涙が私を寝かせていた

いま僕はわかる

やらなきゃいけないことがあること

一人ぼっちになっても

僕を見て愛してくれてる神様がいる

その神様は今

亡くなった父も、母も、弟も

どこかで見守ってくれてるだろうと

そして僕の出番がやっと来た

一つの愛を信じ

この戦場に踏み出す

***English version***

Believe In One Love

There was a time when the sky turned red

And mother hid that sad face from me

I wonder what future awaits my little brother

As we stepped out of that house

Could this be punishment from above?

When we chased after the fleeting happiness on earth

We danced only to forget the most important thing

The enemies promised in our early days finally came

And since then years passed

What our ancestors passed down to us

Is nothing more than this fight

Friends to play with, going to school

I always wanted to know what it feels like

It must be fun and full of laughter

Not even knowing what a father's love is like

I started to wonder what life is

I began to doubt everything

But then mother would always smile

And tell me it will be alright

I didn't understand, I was too young

Why are we the ones to carry this burden?

Why did father have to die?

Everyday, tears put me to sleep

Now I comprehend

That there's something I must do

Even if I'm left alone

There is God who looks at me and loves me

That very God right now

Is probably looking after them too

My father, my mother, and my brother who died

And then my turn finally came

Believing in one love

I stepped into the battlefield

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A look into a person's heart.

ELIXIR一郎

Woke up early in the morning

Somewhat sleepy, somewhat late

10 minutes left time to pray

A new day begun again

After prayers the holy book

And after that a delicious breakfast

I crouched in front of the screen, wondering

What should I write, for this report

Things got a little hazy, things got a little blurry

Into another slumber you sent me

That alarm You told me to set earlier

Rang at 7:45, and I realized I was dreaming

A little bit of this, and things that I don't like

But since You gave it, it must be good for me

Then at 8:15, finally You showed me what to write

A brilliant report that I never thought of

しっかりしていたい、はっきりしていたい

朝ってミラクル、あなたはワンダーフル

Light Binder

It's not the weather

Probably is has come

The time of the year

When snow falls in midsummer

While ants gather around a rotten apple

I stare at the sky wondering

Has cosmic started its alignment?

And it is not a dream

Funny how complicated things are

To have two souls in one body

Funny to be the one who crosses time

But still this uneasiness lingers

Just what is this anxiety?

To watch myself with the eye of the heart

Reality isn't quite what it seems

I ask for only one answer

What should I know and what shouldn't I?

The Light Binder made me from clay

And put us above spectrums of light

Alas the traveler picks up hes sword

Somewhat heavy, somewhat far

50 years later se promises to return

And it was a long day for hem again

Look At Me

Always wanting You to look at me

I forgot about the things you gave

Going around wondering how to make You love me

But I never looked at those You blessed

Do they really love You? I always ask

Do they even know You? I ask with angst

I can't help but weep

Everytime their words make You look weak

But I forgot that humans make mistakes

Why didn't I see when I sat under the stars

Birds flying back to their nests after a long day work

That small stream flowing nearby

Had it always been that blue?

I see now Your love is infinite

Hatred from jealousy leads to nowhere

If I always want to despise

When will I get out of this prison called delusion

But now I've climbed the walls

And saw a beautiful rainbow arc

Life is short

My journey is almost over